If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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