Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
