You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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