The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize