If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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