I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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