we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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