Quick, to the slutcave!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
