was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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