trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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