hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
