She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
