nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
