Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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