break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
