Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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