i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
