She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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