I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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