The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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