Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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