i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize