I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
false alarm. still invincible.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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