Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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