if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
