Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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