STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize