He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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