She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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