yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
