Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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