Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
