I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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