I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
