wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
