she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
