I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i just made my gag reflex go away.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize