i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
