SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
