before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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