Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
