I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Welp...herpes.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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