Tell her she can't have a vagina
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I love having hate sex.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
