How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Randomize
