Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
