opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
