No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
