I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
