You work out of a Hotel?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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