i don't like sucking hair
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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