Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
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