Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
