Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
3pm strippers are depressing
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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