Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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