my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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