Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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