We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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