apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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