Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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