With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
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I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
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I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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