For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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