plz talk dirty to me
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
