Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
