Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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