put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
