You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
